Posts Tagged ‘Harveytoons’

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Cartoon Hell #23 – “Crazytown”

April 19, 2009

Cartoon Hell is TheKarpuk’s attempt to review every single installment in an awful $5 collection called “150 Classic Cartoons” purchased at his local Wal-Mart. Your prayers are welcome.

Because Schizophrenaport was taken.

Because Schizophrenaport was taken.

As a warning, this is in no way a discussion of the one-hit-wonder Crazytown, or their song, “Butterfly”. For that there’s no better explanation of their fall from grace than to look up, “Hurt You So Bad” on Youtube. I’m half tempted to start quoting lyrics, but that would be a digression on top of a digression.

Crazy is a troublesome adjective. Normally when anyone refers to themselves as “crazy” it’s really just affectation code for “annoying”.

Whoa ho, they're all on goofballs!

Whoa ho, they're all on goofballs!

The first shot of Crazytown plays to my suspicions. The sight of people walking on the streets and cars driving on the sidewalk screams, “Oh my, how harmlessly zany!” I fear the levels of wackiness will only increase.

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Cartoon Hell #3 – “The Friendly Ghost”

January 8, 2008

Cartoon Hell is TheKarpuk’s attempt to review every single installment in an awful $5 collection called “150 Classic Cartoons” purchased at his local Wal-Mart. Your prayers are welcome.

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Unlike the previous two entries in this series, today’s cartoon is a change of pace, which surprised me considering the wasteland the “150 Classic Cartoons” appeared to be on the outset. I knew a few famous Paramount and Fleischer characters would appear sooner or later, but they’ve actually included the first appearance of Casper the Friendly Ghost, appropriately titled, “The Friendly Ghost”.

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This short opens with a set of credits that I found to be genuinely creepy. A few of the pictures would actually make cool posters if properly cleaned up and enlarged. Considering this is effectively a children’s series, I’m actually kind of impressed.

A friendly and folksy narrator says something approximately like the following as we zoom in on a spooky house: “If you believe in ghosts, this is the story for you. If you don’t believe in ghosts, well I suppose you can just fuck right off.” I’m probably paraphrasing.

In the interests of full disclosure, I must point out that I’m thoroughly unconvinced that ghosts exist. In my estimation, they fall somewhere between “wishful thinking” and “bullshit”.

I mean really, let’s do some math here. Let’s suppose that only .01 percent of all people who die become a ghost. An average of 150,000 people die worldwide every day, so that would mean 15 ghosts a day, 105 ghosts a week, and 5460 ghosts a year. People seem to believe that ghosts haunt an area as long as need be, so we can basically assume that this trend goes back to the dawn of man. Even going with such a slim percentage, we’d have been up to our assholes in ghosts years ago. If ghosts were that common, ghostbusting wouldn’t be cool, it would be just another form of pest control. You’d be able to buy ghost traps at the local Wal-Mart.

“Booooooo-SNAP!”

“Oh, honey, could you deal with that. I hate throwing out the dead ghosts.”

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