Archive for February, 2009

h1

Cartoon Hell #15 – “Me Musical Nephews”

February 22, 2009

Cartoon Hell is TheKarpuk’s attempt to review every single installment in an awful $5 collection called “150 Classic Cartoons” purchased at his local Wal-Mart. Your prayers are welcome.

I'm I nuts or does Popeye have the grammar of a leprechaun?

Am I nuts or does Popeye have the grammar of a leprechaun?

Cartoons often take plagiarism to a high art. If one company succeeds with a cartoon mouse, everyone else will make mascots that resemble him as closely as the law allows.

I mention this because in later years Popeye took care of a cluster of Nephews all resembling miniature versions of himself. Named Peepeye, Poopeye, Pipeye, and Pupeye, these are children destined to learn Popeye’s fighting methods simply to deal with the school yard taunts. Pipeye and Pupeye are borderline, but Jesus Christ, Poopeye? That sounds like a mystery ailment diagnosed on, “House,”, not the name of a human being.

Since anyone reading this is probably at least somewhat acclimated with cartoon history, I won’t belabor the fact that this scenario involves a sailor with nephews who physically resemble him. I respect your intelligence too much.

They look more like dwarves than children.

They look more like dwarves than children.

In “Me Musical Nephews” Popeye is attempting to drift off to sleep while his nephews practice what  looks like an impromptu ragtime band performance. Whenever Popeye succeeds in drifting off to sleep, they break out into some improvised jazz, because if there’s one thing Popeye can’t stand it’s a jazz man.

Read the rest of this entry ?

h1

Cartoon Hell #14 – “The Lost Dream”

February 11, 2009

Cartoon Hell is TheKarpuk’s attempt to review every single installment in an awful $5 collection called “150 Classic Cartoons” purchased at his local Wal-Mart. Your prayers are welcome.

Mine was to be a dinosaur hunter!

Mine was to be a dinosaur hunter!

“The Lost Dream” begins with a theme song about a little orphaned cyst. I don’t trust this interpretation, because as we’ve established, the music fidelity on this DVD set is akin to playing your stereo speaker in bathwater. The song is supposed to be about Little Audrey, who is an orphan. Not to be confused with that other orphan, whose name people remember.

Mammy SMASH!

Mammy SMASH!

Not one minute into the run time, I yell, “Gadzooks, a mammy! Complete with terrible racist accent.” I assume it’s a nanny, or a maid, or someone with the authority to tell Audrey to go to sleep. Audrey responding with “yessum” is kinda weird, and I can’t quite determine if it’s mocking or not. The mammy, named Petunia,  says something about reading by moonlight giving you strange dreams, which I’d never before heard of.

Read the rest of this entry ?